Today is my MS-iversary!
It has been one year since THAT day! Yes, the day I heard the news that would change my life forever.
So, what has changed? Plenty … but I’ll hit the top ones.
There was a time when I didn’t take any medications. NONE. I once completely eliminated everything – even against doctor’s orders.
I have so many now I can hardly keep count.
There’s no chance of eliminating the medications that take care of those darned relapses and spasms.
Unsteady gait & bumping into walls
Now this is frustrating!!! But, I have to admit sometimes it is kind of funny.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I stopped at a liquor store to pick up Prosecco so we could make mimosas for Sunday morning breakfast. I “jumped” out of the car to “run” inside. My balance and gait was so uncoordinated. My direct path to the door veered sharply to the left. Plus, I stumbled a few times. Yep, and I was walking into a liquor store! I got so tickled at how I must have looked I broke into a fit of laughter!
I think the thing that frustrates me most about this is I’m not able to dance. I’ve tried. I LOVE TO DANCE! I’ve been dancing since I was four! My husband and I connected by first becoming dance partners. It makes me sad – very sad – that we aren’t able to dance anymore. I pray this only temporary. We have an amazing connection when we dance and I miss sharing it with him.
This one completely sweeps me off my feet. When it does, I must lay down.
There is a commercial currently running advertising a new MS medication. The woman with MS (a portrayal) breezes through daily activities never pausing. In my reality, this is completely inaccurate. I haven’t been able to breeze through any activity.
As a matter of fact, I wonder how people with MS work regular 8-5 jobs. I can barely shower, wash my hair and get dressed without needing to rest!
I want to know how they do it!!!!!!!!
I had three diagnostic MRI’s in the hospital. Brain, cervical (neck) and thoracic (back). They were done at one time with the technologist moving from one area to the next. It was uneventful.
When follow-up MRI’s were ordered seven months later, I thought ‘no problem … I managed them last time.’ Boy was I wrong.
I originally planned to have all three done on the same day so I could take the Valium my neurologist ordered just to keep me relaxed. When my driver wasn’t able to take me, I had to split them into 3 days so I could drive myself to the imaging center. That meant no Valium for me.
OMG! I was a mess! The noise of the 3T machine was unbearable even with the headphones and generic music. With each section scan my anxiety increased. I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. I asked God to keep me calm and get me through.
I felt as though the scanning would never end. FINALLY, it did.
One down, two more to go – on two separate days.
Anxiety increased with each MRI scan. I was never so glad to be done with diagnostic testing!!!
Guess what?!?!? I have three more MRI’s in December. Not looking forward to them at all! Ah, yeah … Valium is a must for these.
There are few more things … but I’m not quite ready to share. 😉
I don’t want MS to define me and what I can do. I strive to push through. Some days I do to complete exhaustion and pain.
I’m still learning how to navigate this … this … MS!
I wish I could snap my fingers and make-it-all-go-away.